I feel numb.
I feel numb emotionally and spiritually.
This should be frightening, but it’s like I can’t feel the fear – or I don’t care.
I hope this gets better, because I don’t want to be like this.
Is spiritual numbness a thing? Is it a part of grief?
Yes, it’s possible to be spiritually numb.
When our feelers shut down, it can be disconcerting and even frightening. If we normally feel close to God or spiritually connected, this change can be alarming indeed. Our souls scream, “No! I can’t afford to lose this too!”
And yet, when we’re numb, a part of us just doesn’t seem to care anymore. We’re “zoned out” spiritually. We’re going through the motions. Our heart feels disconnected, or perhaps altogether absent.
Fellow grievers describe feeling like an “emotional zombie” or “an empty soul.” The pain of the loss has pummeled our entire being to the point that we aren’t able to enjoy or even engage in areas that are typically life-giving to us.
The truth is that our souls and hearts have not departed. They are still intact and functioning. We’re still feeling and sensing many things, but life is such that we can’t fully experience them in the moment. Our spiritual life hasn’t disappeared, but our awareness and appreciation of it has been dulled by the pain of loss.
Loss comes with a phenomenal amount of change. These changes were not our choice. Our lives were altered without our consent or permission. It can feel like we’ve been acted upon or stolen from. The grinding pressure of constant grief can deaden our spiritual sensors over time.
We go numb.
If you experience a sense of spiritual numbness, please know that this is common for many grieving hearts. Try not to catastrophize your current reality, but instead accept it for what it is – a temporary state.
As you get the space and time you need to rest, most likely your spiritual desire will return.
Be patient with yourself. Tell yourself, “This is a time of change. This spiritual numbness will change too.”
Affirmation:
If I find myself spiritually numb, I’ll remember that this is temporary. My heart and soul are tired from managing all this change.
Suggestions:
Spiritual numbness can be alarming for some. If you find yourself “numbed out” spiritually, here are some things to consider:
- It’s okay to feel spiritually numb at present. As you give yourself permission to be where you are, over time this numbness will most likely recede.
- Do what you can to get good rest. Too much activity, stress, and sleep deprivation can be a truly formidable and even temporarily debilitating combination. You need space, margin, and rest.
- Beware of isolation. You need to be connected to healthy, trustworthy people, now more than ever. Even though you
might feel numb, try reaching out and expressing what you’re experiencing along with any concerns you might have. - Write about the spiritual numbness you’re experiencing. List any concerns or worries you might have. Be as specific as you can. Afterwards, try reading your list out loud. Then close your eyes and picture yourself releasing some of the numbness and heaviness.
Feeling spiritually numb can be concerning and even frightening. Be kind to yourself and do what you can to process this well.
Excerpt taken from The Grief Guidebook: Common Questions, Compassionate Answers, Practical Suggestions.
Question: Have you experienced spiritual numbness on your journey of loss? What was that like for you? Please feel free to comment below.
