I’m having panic attacks now.
They’re awful and terrifying.
Sometimes, I feel like I’m dying.
I’m a disaster. I feel so out of control.
What can I do?
Panic attacks are indeed terrifying. Sadly, they tend to be common in the grief journey.
Sometimes we know what the trigger is. We see something and begin thinking about this or that. We get anxious. The anxiety takes off.
We feel the panic coming. Soon, we’re hyperventilating, light-headed, and terror-stricken. Other times, we can’t identify a trigger at all. We seem to be fine, doing daily life and minding our own business. Anxiety descends on us seemingly out of nowhere. Panic ensues and hijacks us.
Panic attacks can be debilitating.
The insidious thing about panic attacks is that they are so awful that we begin fearing the next one before it arrives. Over time, that anticipatory anxiety can lead to another panic attack.
Though panic attacks are not uncommon for grieving hearts, they are not something we should attempt to manage on our own. Most of us are embarrassed by these sudden assaults of terror, which can lead us to isolate a bit. However, now is the very time when we need to be reaching out.
Though we don’t tend to share this struggle with others, it is wise and helpful to involve some trustworthy, safe people in this battle with us. We need the support and understanding of others. They can give invaluable input and bring perspective.
To manage panic attacks well, however, most need some professional guidance. Licensed counselors and grief professionals can provide the listening ears, compassionate acceptance, and expert assistance we need to navigate these fear-laced upheavals. These professionals, along with our physician, can help determine whether medication or supplements might be helpful.
The expert help we need may be costly at times. Investing heavily in our own recovery, healing, and wellness is a huge priority. One of the best gifts we can give to ourselves and those around us is to be as healthy as possible. Taking care of ourselves is also a powerful way to honor those we’ve lost.
If you find yourself having panic attacks, please take your heart seriously and reach out to someone who can walk with you through this. Don’t try to do this alone. We need each other.
Affirmation:
If I experience panic attacks, I’ll be careful not to isolate, but instead reach out for the assistance I need to handle these attacks in healthy ways.
Suggestions:
If you find yourself having anxiety or panic attacks, please consider
the following.
- Remember that you are far from alone. Many experience panic attacks as part of their grief journey.
- Practice deep breathing and make it a habit (see the end of chapter five). This simple skill can make a big difference.
- While panic is sending emergency fight-or-flight messages to your brain, deep breathing sends the message, “Things are not as bad as panic says. I am not in danger. This will pass.”
- When a panic attacks comes, try accepting what is. “I’m feeling panicky. I’ll accept this panic as part of my grief process.” I know that might sound scary or even crazy, but the reality is that once you accept what’s happening in the moment, in most cases the panic actually begins to dissipate.
- Is there a counselor or grief professional you can talk with about panic attacks? If you don’t know anyone personally, whom can you talk to for some guidance or a recommendation? Getting some expert input can be invaluable in dealing with tough issues like this.
- Do you have a physician that you trust? Would you be willing to make a call or make an appointment to talk about panic attacks with them? Make sure you tell them about your loss and your grief process so far.
Excerpt from The Grief Guidebook: Common Questions, Compassionate Answers, Practical Suggestions.
Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. (Isaiah 41:10, ESV)
Question: Have you experienced panic attacks in your grief process? What was that like for you? Please feel free to share by commenting below.
