Life, and grief, can become a treadmill. 

When I was 12, I had a gerbil named Ralph. He was an interesting, good-natured, and incredibly energetic creature.  Confined to a small life in a cage, Ralph ran. And he ran, and ran, and ran. Around and around in his gerbil wheel. Constantly. Incessantly. 

As I was on the treadmill this morning, I thought of Ralph. I laughed.

Ah, Ralph. Always moving, but never going anywhere.

I feel like that sometimes, especially when life hurts.

The routine is already so demanding that the temptation to go through the motions and live on auto-pilot is always present. When I’m wounded by loss, my “run faster” instinct kicks into high gear. 

Perhaps this is partially the result of childhood trauma and other heavy losses along the way. Whatever the case, my heart is familiar with living in fight or flight mode. 

I come to my senses and step off the treadmill for a moment.

I pause and take a deep breath.

I listen.

I become a little more present. 

I ask myself, “Why are you here?”

I know the answer. My why is to love God and love people. My heart settles a bit. I keep breathing deeply. 

I would like to say I stay present with my why, but the reality is that I’m human. Before I know it, I’m back on the treadmill, plugging away at life like a gerbil in a wheel. 

Do you feel stuck at times, caught in a cage of frustration, grief, or pain?

Has life and loss exhausted you?

Do you feel like you’re always moving, but wonder if you’re really going anywhere? 

If so, please comment below. Tell me your story.

Who knows? Maybe we can encourage each other.

Pause. Take a moment. Breathe. Listen. 

Questions:  Do you feel stuck at times, in grief and in life? Are you worn out, fatigued, exhausted? Do you wonder where you’re going in life? Let me hear from you. Share in the comment box below. I’m glad we’re in this together.

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