Articles by Gary Roe

5 Ways Loss Attacks Your Identity

"I'm not the same person. Neither is Dave. Who am I now? Who are we?" asked Alexandra. Alexandra and Dave's son Duke was their only child. He was a talkative kid, with an active imagination. He was the superhero of the neighborhood, with a strong preference for Batman...

4 Tips for Grieving Hearts Entering 2019

2018 was quite a year. First, there were our own personal losses. Deaths. Separations. Estrangements. Illnesses. Rejections. Crushed hopes. The list could go on and on. Then there was the world at large. Political unrest, immigration challenges, market fluctuations,...

9 Things I Learned (Again) in 2018

I don't know about you, but I'm sad today. Six friends of mine died this year, including a young neighbor across the street. Two other friends lost teen sons to suicide. Our family's beloved optometrist was diagnosed with ALS (Lou Gehrig's Disease). My 15-year-old son...

3 Things I Wish for You This Christmas

Christmas. It can be wonderful. It can be tough. For most of us, there is pain associated with this time of year. We're all missing someone - probably several someones. Our hearts yearn. Old wounds and losses resurface, and we feel the pain. I know there is nothing I...

9 Keys to Holiday Sanity While Grieving

Holidays can make us crazy. Add loss and grief into the mix, and many of us wonder how we’re going to get through this. Holidays can be crazy-making times. “I’m scared. It’s like I’m frozen and can’t move. How do I face life without my husband?” Tina asked....

3 Steps to Sane Holiday Decision-Making

One Sunday afternoon during the holidays, I ran into Chris and Karen in the grocery store. They seemed to be moving in slow motion, shuffling their feet and staring blankly ahead. I was almost on top of them before they noticed me. They looked exhausted. “Hey guys....

3 Steps to Guarding Your Grieving Heart this Season

Sal and Mildred called themselves December people. They were both born in December and were married on Christmas Eve. “We partied all month long!” Mildred said. When Mildred passed in early December, Sal wasn’t surprised. “She waited until our party month. Now she’s...

3 Big Reasons Why Holidays Hurt

Holidays can hurt, especially when we’re missing someone. How do we celebrate when our hearts are broken? Where’s the Grinch when you need him? Hurting for the holidays Is it okay to hurt during the holidays? Absolutely. Here are three big reasons why holidays...

7 Tips for Overcoming the Loneliness of Grief

We’re made for relationship. No wonder loss hurts. It crushes our hearts. As a hospice chaplain, I believe one of our greatest fears is feeling alone, left behind, or abandoned. I’ve felt it myself, and I’ve heard it from the hearts of hundreds of others. Steven’s...

5 Things to Remember When People Disappoint You

When loss hits, our world changes. This includes our relationships. People around us tend to over-promise but under-deliver in terms of supporting us in meaningful ways. This leads to more loss. From the Grieving Heart: This would be easier if it weren't for...