Why am I here?
This loss has shattered my world and my illusions.
I was moving, but I’m not sure I was going anywhere.
My questions are larger and deeper now.
Why are we here? What is this all about?
Why am I here? What’s my purpose?
Sir William Wallace reportedly once said, “Every man dies. Not every man truly lives.” We can all relate to this.
We’ve all had the experience of going through the motions and almost mindlessly moving from one task to another. We get stuck in cycles of doing what we think we’re supposed to do to get what we think we want. We march through life carrying an unseen burden of expectations – both our own and what we believe others’ expectations to be. The demands placed on us by ourselves and others can blind us to what’s really important.
At several junctures in life, most of us have those “Aha!” moments when we realize we’re moving but not really living. We’ve been stuck on a treadmill. We’ve been working hard and making good time, but we suddenly realize we’re not going anywhere.
Loss upends our world. The death of a loved one or friend shatters our routine and knocks us off our treadmill. We find ourselves face down on the ground – stunned, bruised, and wounded. We wonder what happened, how, and why.
As we stumble and stagger forward, we begin to wonder about a lot of things. What is this all about, anyway? Why are we here? What’s our purpose?
Loss tends to raise our eyes above the mundane details of life. Most of us find ourselves staring at larger questions that we’re usually too busy to contemplate.
Our minds are seeking to understand life better. Our hearts are searching for important answers. Our souls are yearning for something beyond the long to-do lists and rubrics we’ve been using to maintain a sense of control in life.
When we lack a clear sense of identity and purpose, we live confused lives. Without an understanding of who we are and why we’re here, we wander and falter.
And yet, even with all the loss and pain, the crucial importance of people, relationships, love, and service remains. Whatever else we might happen to think or believe, our identity, purpose, and mission includes these four components.
Seasons of loss can be times of self-evaluation. On the grief journey, many allow their pain and grief to lead them to live with greater passion and purpose. Inevitably, people, relationships, love, and service end up being a huge part of that.
If you’re wondering more about who you are and why you’re here, you’re in good company. Many grieving hearts tussle with this.
Affirmation:
I’ll stay open to what this loss might teach about who I am and why I’m here. Though I might not know how, I’ll trust that it’s possible that I can live with more purpose and meaning than ever before.
Suggestions:
Knowing your purpose, why you are here, forms the basis for all you do. Below are some tips to consider as you tussle with this during a time of loss:
- Consider contemplating and writing down why you’re here. Try to define, as clearly as possible, your purpose. Whatever
our personal missions are, we know that they will include people, relationships, love, and service. - As you think about your purpose and mission, this may naturally bring up all you’ve lost along the way. Chances are there are many things about the loss of your friend or loved one which are tied to your sense of why you are here. Consider using T.W.A. (talk it out, write it out, art it out) to express your grief about what you’ve lost.
- Once you define your purpose a bit more clearly, this can help you with daily decision-making. Let your purpose – why you are here – guide your routine and activities.
Loss can shake your sense of meaning and purpose. Embrace this as an opportunity to contemplate why you are here and align your life accordingly.
Excerpt from The Grief Guidebook: Common Questions, Compassionate Answers, Practical Suggestions.
Question: Since your loss, have you asked, “Why am I still here?” Please feel free to share by leaving a comment below:
