How Do I Stop This Terrible Ache in My Heart?

At first, my heart was shattered.

I didn’t know how to feel. I was stunned.

Then came the pain.

The intensity shocked me.

Now I live with this pain – this chronic aching.

How do I stop this terrible ache in my heart?

At first, we’re shocked and stunned.

When we come to, we shake our heads in denial. “No. This cannot be happening. It’s not true.”

When the ugly reality sinks in, the pain begins to surface. It can be so intense we wonder if it might kill us.

We begin to live with this new pain. It invades every nook and cranny of our lives. Over time, a chronic ache settles over us.

This heartache can be so immense that it becomes hard to breathe emotionally. All of life seems to be about our loss. Grief encompasses everything in our world.

Finally, our soul cries out: “When will this pain end? How do I stop this terrible heartache?”

You can’t stop this heartache. The ache is there for a good reason.

You have a heart. Your heart has been hit hard by loss. Your heart is hurting.

This heartache is real. It must be accepted as it is. Your heartache honors the one you lost. The ache proclaims your love and affection.

As you accept this heartache – and yourself as you are at present something begins to happen over time. The ache is still there, but it changes. As you express this ache through talking, writing, or art, you’re giving this great internal wound some much-needed air.

As you connect and share with safe, trustworthy people who take your heartache seriously, they provide some of the salve your wound needs.

Accept where you are. Process what’s happening inside you. Connect with healthy people. Share with those you trust. These things combined lead to healing.

Again, you will heal, but you will never be the same. Let your heartache lead you to love and live more fully than ever.

Affirmation:
My heartache honors my loved one and shouts my love for them. I’ll accept this heartache, process it well, and stay connected to safe, loving people.

Excerpt from The Grief Guidebook: Common Questions, Compassionate Answers, Practical Suggestions.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
    and saves those who are crushed in spirit. (Psalm 34:18, NIV)

Question: How has this excerpt resonated with you? Please feel free to share by commenting below.