Posted May 1 2016 by GaryRoe in Anger management, Courageous Living, Death and dying, Depression, divorce recovery, Emotional pain, Fear, Grief and Loss, Grief recovery, Healing, Healing from the past, Healing from trauma, Holiday grief, Hospice stories, Loneliness, Love, Peace, Purpose and meaning, Suffering and Pain, Trauma recovery with 0 Comments
Sudden loss is shocking. Like a missile out of the blue, it can devastate our world in an instant.
It happened so quickly
“It happened so quickly. One minute he seemed fine, and the next he was gone. It was all so sudden,” Connie said through her tears.
Matt had been mowing the lawn. He came inside, sat down in his recliner and feel asleep.
He never woke up.
Connie’s eyes said she was still in shock. She couldn’t wrap her mind around what had happened, much less her heart.
The unique challenges of sudden loss
Sudden death, loss, and trauma come with unique challenges.
- You didn’t see it coming.
- It took you by surprise.
- There was no way you could prepare for it.
- There was no final, “I love you.”
- You didn’t get to say goodbye.
You feel unfinished. Stunned. Things were left unsaid and undone. You wonder “What if…” or “If only…”
Your heart is searching for solid rock in the midst of this free fall. What happened? Where did they go? How can this be? Why?
We want to say:
“You were just here. How could you be gone?”
Most of my losses have been sudden. Chances are, you’ve experienced an unexpected loss too. Be it sudden or anticipated, life is always gone in an instant. Trauma, abuse or other loss can obliterate our sense of security at a moment’s notice.
When life or security departs, the shock waves are immense.
There is no protection against this. When it hits, we are left to make sense of the rubble.
Be kind to yourself
You’ve been hit. Of course you’re stunned. Nothing is normal or routine right now.
Here are some things to remember:
- Be kind to yourself.
- Limit the expectations you place on yourself, or that others attempt to place on you.
- Healing and recovery take time. Grief is a process that will not be hurried.
- Look to your heart, and focus there. This is going to be a tough, unpredictable ride.
- You will make it.
It is possible to provide security against other ills, but as far as death is concerned, we men live in a city without walls. – Epicurus
Adapted from Heartbroken: Healing from the Loss of a Spouse (Amazon Bestseller, Finalist USA Best Book Awards, Finalist National Indie Excellence Book Award)
Posted Apr 6 2016 by GaryRoe in Courageous Living, Death and dying, Depression, divorce recovery, Emotional pain, Grief and Loss, Grief recovery, Healing, Relationships, Stress Management, Suffering and Pain with 0 Comments
We all grieve. We need each other, badly.
That’s why I wrote Please Be Patient, I’m Grieving: How to Care For and Support the Grieving Heart. I hoped and prayed that together we could get this book into the hands of those who needed it.
So far, the results have been stunning.
The Kindle version of Please Be Patient, I’m Grieving is now a #1 Bestseller in 3 categories. It’s also #1 in Hot New Releases in all 4 of its categories.
All this is due to you and your support. Thank you.
We’re trying to keep the price of both versions (Kindle and paperback) as low as possible as long as possible to reach as many as possible.
Please help us get the word out:
- Share the paperback release on Facebook. Send it to all your friends, or tag some, or send as private message to a few select people.
- Tweet it!
- Write a review of the book on Amazon. These reviews make a huge difference!
Loss is tough. It can crush hearts and rattle souls. It’s time we took the grieving heart seriously.
That’s what this book is about. Let’s make it count.
P.S. If you have ideas for how we can let more people know about this resource, please let us know. Use the contact Gary box at the bottom of this webpage and shoot me an email. Thank you!
Gary Roe has been a campus minister, church-planter in Japan, and pastor in Texas and Washington. He currently serves as a writer, speaker and chaplain with Hospice Brazos Valley in Central Texas.
He is the author of four books, including Heartbroken (Amazon Bestseller, 2015 National Indie Excellence Award Finalist) and Not Quite Healed (co-authored with New York Times Bestseller Cecil Murphey, 2013 Lime Award Finalist for Excellence in Non-Fiction). With more than 250 articles in print, he is a popular speaker at a wide variety of venues.
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