When Grief Steals Our Oxygen


Life can take our breath away. Literally.

“It’s constant. I had no idea how hard it would be. The depth of the grief is astounding,” Maggie shared.

“Sometimes I feel like I can’t even catch my breath.”

Maggie’s husband Ted had died of pancreatic cancer six months earlier. No wonder she was gasping for air.

Grief carries a powerful punch. It slams us emotionally and physically. Our immune system can be compromised. We get sick more often.

Perhaps you literally can’t catch your breath. Hyperventilation is a natural result of the anxiety that accompanies a large loss. Grief pounds your entire system and affects your whole person.

Chances are you’re surprised by how constant, hard, and deep your grief is. All of this honors your loved one and your relationship. Grieving is not for sissies. It takes serious courage.

Here’s an affirmation for today:

“My grief is deeper than I imagined, but I can meet it with courage today.”


Courage isn’t the absence of fear, but the willingness to feel the fear and not be controlled by it.

Grief can steal our oxygen. Take a moment. Breathe deeply.

You can be courageous, again today.


Want more? Grab your copy of Heartbroken: Healing from the Loss of a Spouse (Amazon Bestseller, USA Best Book Awards Finalist, National Indie Excellence Award Finalist) today.

When Loss Steals Our Dreams


Kids dream. For them, anything is possible.

Then we grow up.

We take some hits. Life doesn’t go the way we planned. We lose – relationships, jobs, opportunities, and people.

The dreams morph over time. Then, well, they mostly disappear. And our broken hearts settle for what is.


When people die, some dreams do too

“My dreams are gone. Anything I thought I wanted to do disappeared. The goals are no more. It was all tied to him,” Renee said.

“I miss the future with him. It’s not there anymore,” she shared.

When Renee’s husband died, her future was turned upside down. Anything they had planned together was erased. Her dreams, hopes, and goals died with him.


Loss is like an earthquake

You know this if you’ve lost someone close: the earthquake hits, and then the aftershocks continue. Collateral damage starts to appear, and can continue to surface for months, even years later.

Then you’re faced with not only the pain, but massive rebuilding. The key is to not be in a hurry. This isn’t a sprint. As you focus on taking care of yourself and healing well, you’ll be able later to handle the challenges of remaking the future – one step at a time.


An affirmation for today:

“My dreams are shattered. I’ll focus on healing well, and retool the future when it’s time.”

Grieving and healing take great courage. You are braver than you realize.


Adapted from Heartbroken: Healing from the Loss of a Spouse (Amazon Bestseller, USA Best Book Awards Finalist, National Indie Excellence Book Award Finalist).

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