HEARTBROKEN has been released

Most of us know about grief and loss. We’ve personally experienced it through death, divorce, abuse, or some other means.

Some of us have lost our mates. And for those who haven’t, we can come to the aid of those who have.

Heartbroken: Healing from the loss of a Spouse was released today. This book, written from interactions and interviews with hundreds of widows and widowers, deals with the one of the greatest losses any of us can experience.


What Heartbroken is about

When someone loses a mate, it can be painful beyond description. It affects all of life. Nothing is the same. Many times, the surviving spouse’s heart is broken.

What do survivors do with all the pain and roller-coaster emotions? What will life be like? Who are they now?

Their hearts need answers. Heartbroken can help.

I wrote Heartbroken from my experience in walking with hundreds of spouses through this dark valley. It contains their stories, in their words. It’s about their pain, struggles, triumphs, and healing. Heartbroken is honest, forthright, and practical.


How you can help

I need your help. We need to get this book into the hands of as many widows and widowers as possible. You can:

  • Share this video and blog post.
  • Go to my FB author page and share this post.
  • Share the link to this post/video on any of your social media – Twitter, LinkedIn, Pinterest, GooglePlus, etc.

Take a moment and think of someone you know suffering from the loss of spouse. Share with them personally – and do it soon. They may be waiting for this resource.



And it’s a big deal too…

I wanted to find a way to say “Thank you” to you, for reading, sharing, and for encouraging me. So…

Heartbroken will be available for $5.99 (60% off) for the first two weeks. After that – back to the regular price. This is for YOU – my readers, subscribers, and FB fans – and anyone you choose to tell! So grab your copies now!

Heartbroken is now available from –  

Amazon (paperback and Kindle)

Barnes & Noble (Nook)

Smashwords (e-book)

Gary (signed, personalized paperback copies) - NOTE – I will not have copies until March 5 (but you can order anytime!).

Together we can make a huge impact. Let’s work together to get this resource out there!

When Valentine’s Day is Hard

Photo courtesy of ©photodune.net

My last post was about Mr. Guilt. My plan was to continue that theme and talk about how to recognize and deal with him.

But Valentine’s Day is staring us in the face – and it can be hard. So I’m going to put Mr. Guilt off until the next post, and discuss this upcoming celebration of love and romance.


Why Valentine’s Day can be difficult

Valentine’s Day can be hard for all kinds of reasons – death, divorce, abuse, estrangement, and loneliness, to name a few. It resurrects our losses and thrusts them in our faces. We long for what we had, or grieve what we never got. We’re angry about how things are. Add some guilt into the mix and presto – a formidable recipe for discouragement, depression, and despair.

Valentine’s Day can be an intense time of grief and sadness.

What can we do?


Hiding isn’t a good option

We can, of course, hide. This is perhaps our most natural reflex when wounded and feeling out of control. But it’s not healthy, and we know it.

We can run. Run into another’s arms. Run to someone or something else to deaden the pain. But then, this is just another form of hiding.


We can make the courageous choice to meet Valentine’s Day head on, and use it to help us heal.


Meeting Valentine’s Day head-on

How do we do this?

  • First, we can decide to meet the day and what it brings. The Grinch couldn’t stop Christmas from coming, and we won’t be able to stop Valentine’s Day either. What would it mean to celebrate the day in a way that fits where we are?
  • Second, we can make proactive choices. Each of us gets to decide what we’re going to do, how, when, and with whom. We must seek those who are helpful to our healing and limit our exposure to those who aren’t. We can take charge of the day, and make a plan.
  • Third, we can forgive. We can’t afford to let guilt (blaming ourselves) or bitterness (blaming others) rule our hearts. We can choose to both forgive those who have wounded us and forgive ourselves for what we did or didn’t do. This releases our hearts to continue to heal.
  • Fourth, we can express love. We can choose to honor those who have passed – buy them a card, write a letter, or give a gift in their name. We remember them, and are thankful. But we don’t have to stop there.

Even when in pain, we can reach out and honor someone around us we respect and admire. How can we show them our love and thanks? What can we do to help them feel appreciated and valued? A little genuine service can do wonders for broken hearts.


Maybe it’s about love in the midst of difficulty

Perhaps this is what Valentine’s Day should be about anyway – expressing love in the midst of pain and struggle. If we freely passed along what we longed to receive, imagine the impact we might make.

We grieve because we dared to love. What if we used our grief to love even more?

Valentine’s Day might be different indeed.


Question: When Valentine’s Day hurts, what have you found helpful?

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